Men and Mystery of the Woman’s Wardrobe.

photo courtesy of http://www.rimexbd.com
photo courtesy of http://www.rimexbd.com

“You have a lot of jeans.”

“You looked in my jeans drawer?” I asked my husband. Turns out he had decided to put away the pair I left slung over our dusty elliptical. Little does he know how amazing it is that I only have ONE jeans drawer.

I felt he needed explanation.

“That’s because I have three pairs that I don’t currently fit into, but I WILL (see dusty elliptical reference). I have skinny jeans for boots and bootcut jeans for my Converse–”

“Wait, shouldn’t the bootcut go with the boo–”

“Shut up and listen.” I continued. “There is a jean skirt and a couple pairs of capri jeans. Wait…three capris. Two blue — one boyfriend cut and the other a straight leg — and a white pair. Good for summer and sandals. I also have some red skinny jeans to mix it up. Plus the first non-maternity pair of jeans that I was able to squeeze into after giving birth. I could get rid of those…but it feels disloyal. And it’s almost the holidays. Not the time to be cocky.”

I think all this made as much sense to him as when I tried to explain that not only do I need my 80+ pair of shoes, but yes, I need multiple black shoes, brown shoes, flats, boots, etc. Or why I need seven black shirts. No, they aren’t all the same. This one is dressy. That one is casual. This one is v-neck and works with these necklaces. That one is scoop neck and works best with those scarves (I have a whole drawer of those, too).

This one is a collection of my husband's shirts sewn together by my sister-in-law.
This one is a collection of my husband’s shirts sewn together by my sister-in-law.

Yes, sometimes I get carried away. Like my blue stripey phase. I’m not even convinced I look all that good in stripes.

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Since having Connor, my wardrobe can now be divided into two more sections. Crap that requires layering, accessorizing and effort; and crap that does not. This has also led to a shocking rise in the number of flats living in the closet my husband and I share in a very reasonable 80/20 split. I don’t know what the future holds for my large collection of heels, but for now I tell myself I will have fancy, important meetings downtown that will necessitate the wearing of heels when Connor starts school. Who with or about what, I have no idea. In the meantime, I will continue to fight the urge to buy clothes for a life I don’t lead anymore.

To my shoes, although we’ve said good bye, Iiiiiiiee-ey-Iiiiiiii will always love youuuuuuuuuuuuuu:

Thank God I had seats at that Lady Gaga concert.
Thank God I had seats at that Lady Gaga concert.
I ordered these toward the end of my pregnancy. I hope they enjoyed that one dinner.
I ordered these toward the end of my pregnancy. I hope they enjoyed that one dinner.

Now I’m just rocking out with my boy.

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It’s just a bonus that my knee doesn’t hurt anymore.

“But why do you need so many purses?” Here we go again.

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2 thoughts on “Men and Mystery of the Woman’s Wardrobe.”

  1. So funny .. And if it helps i’ m 66 and have the same problems and closet issues .. Since I retired I can’t bear to give away work and going out clothes even tho going out now is a walk around block in flats or tennis shoes and dressing up is wearing a scarf with my sweater and jeans .. I still have the cute heels and dresses I just know I’m going to wear some day ….. And yes I have skinny jeans .boot cut jeans , leggings , dress pants and on and on . Fashion is a necessary feel good thing for women. My husband, on the other hand ,is happy with a pair of jeans and a polo shirt .. And probably wouldn’t notice if he wore the same one for weeks as long as it was washed in between .. However they do care how we look and notice the total look evenif they don’t figure out how we do it or why we need ten pair of black pants , jeans and hundreds of shoes ..
    👠👢👟👖👗👜👝💅💇

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