I met Giovana in eighth grade in 1993. She thought I was a weirdo. I thought she had big poofy hair. Just kidding. That was normal then. I was gonna bite the bullet and post a picture from that year for the sake of humor, but there are apparently none with just the two of us, and it seems wrong to bring down innocent people.

So here are some from high school.

Then came came college.

A few years later this guy shows up and is all, “See this sweet ‘stache I’m rocking? I’m gonna marry your friend.” I had been out of the country for their dating relationship. I tried to hire a hit man but he was too expensive. Fortunately, I decided I like Damien and didn’t have to kill him. Though we did ixnay the mustache.

Then they put up with my whining for a few years about how I’d never get married, until…

They had been wanting a baby for a long time. But sometimes life is a pain in the ass. After years of waiting, they got the call.

And now Connor has a new friend.

Welcome home, David!