Tag Archives: Social media

Phil Robertson and your Facebook friends.

One night in college we all dressed up, left the dorms and headed downtown. One of my friend’s cousins was visiting from Miami. He’s gay. I don’t remember where all we were headed, but Boneshakers, a gay club back in the day in Athens, was one of our destinations. We had fun, and I thought, aren’t I so progressive, going to a gay club?

The next day, another friend pointed out to me that I had referred to several things that annoyed me that evening as “gay.” My friend and her cousin had exchanged looks, but never said anything to me. I was oblivious–never even realized what I was saying or how it would be perceived. I wasn’t saying it to be hateful, it was slang. But I immediately eradicated it from my vocabulary when I realized how it came across.

Same thing about the “r” word. I confess I used to use that word, too. It wasn’t until I personally knew people that were intensely pained by it that I finally got it and dropped it. Sometimes, we say things not understanding the impact. When my TSC friends discuss their hatred of the term and people who use it, I feel like there is a scarlet R burning on my chest, and I wonder, do they know? Do they know I was one of them?

I’m bothered by this whole Duck Dynasty thing, but not because of what was said and who said it. Frankly, take into account the guy’s age,  background and where he lives. It’s not particularly shocking. And if you met him in person, I think he’d be a really nice guy. I don’t watch the show, but I’ve seen bits and pieces, as well as stories of things they have done to help others in need. I personally don’t like what he said, and just as he has the right to say it, people have the right to be angry, and A&E has the right to “protect their brand.” That being said, I’m not all that sympathetic to A&E either because I’m sure they have to sign off on everything the cast does, and come on, they knew his beliefs. No, I don’t care about any of that. What I care about is what I see on social media.

A lot of fans are angry about Phil Robertson’s suspension from the show. They feel he is being attacked for being a Christian and living by the Bible. And so the posts and memes began. Phil Robertson for president! I stand with Phil! But then some started getting more…honest. It turned into a revering of someone who stood up for the truth about homosexuality.

Some nasty things have been posted as status updates, nasty comments have been made beneath them, nasty things have been “liked” that then show up in your friends’ news feeds. I even read some cruel comments made by family members of one of my FB friends who is part of the LGBT community. Family. Wow. This led me to look closer at the friends lists of some of the people whose disturbing posts I saw.

Are they aware that they are connected to members of the LGBT community? These days it’s hard not to be because Facebook isn’t just about who you know now. You reconnect with high school and college friends, co-workers, sometimes even elementary friends. We’re connected to other families who share our path with special needs or have common goals or beliefs. Maybe you actually think you don’t know any gay people? Are you sure? Check your friends list again. Maybe, just maybe, you have a gay friend who is working towards a goal you both hold dear. Did you want them to see that? Was it intentional or an accident? And now that you know, would you post it again?

I have no doubt I’ve said and posted things that others don’t like. Sometimes I have no idea I’m irritating someone until I break the last straw and  they unload on me because I’ve been rubbing them the wrong way for three months. Sometimes it takes me a while to get it, too.

There is a meme that floats around every so often that I always snicker at. It cracks a joke about a well known practice of a particular religion. I’ve wanted to post it more than once. But I never have because I know I am connected to people in that religion. I have no idea if they’d even care, but since this is one of those rare occasions in which I have some self awareness, I don’t.

I’m not trying to change anyone’s minds about their beliefs. I’m just saying, look through your friend list. Put an actual face on what you’re saying. I know I didn’t get it until I had faces for who I hurt with the words gay and retarded.

I’m not perfect. I might offend you tomorrow. Maybe I’m offending you right now. I have jerk thoughts all the time, and sometimes I say them, too. But think about how you feel when someone posts an update calling something or someone retarded. Or how you feel if someone posts that all Christians are hateful. Or all liberals are stupid. Or all conservatives are evil. Or when family and friends reject you because of the circumstances of your life. I wonder what it’s like to hop on FB to see what your friends are up to, only to see that a bunch of them believe you’re destined for hell.

I don’t write this because I think you will change your beliefs. I write it because I wonder if you’ll change the way you post.

Review of the Dermagist Clarifying System and GIVEAWAY!!!

Woo hoo! I get to to do a giveaway today. I feel like a real blogger now! Of course, the price is that I must reveal the shocking secret that my skin is not…gasp…perfect. The Dermagist Clarifying System is geared for acne prone skin. Now, I don’t have acne, but I certainly do have my problem areas and breakouts.

In the interest of full disclosure, I received these products at no cost in exchange for writing a review. I was a little nervous. What if I hated it? Awwwwkward! I’m glad to say, I’m pretty happy with the results.

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I started using the product on May 4.  Right away I felt like we were going to have a positive relationship because of the word resveratrol stamped on the containers. Hey now! Isn’t that the magical anti-aging anti-oxidant found in red wine? The one all the magazines have been touting? Research is still in progress, but it’s believed to have many health benefits, although the degree of effectiveness and best method of consumption is still being studied. But anything that can be found in wine is alright by me.

A glass of red wine. Photo taken in Montreal C...

The instructions tell you to use it twice a day. I’ll be honest. I’m a once a day kind of girl, unless there are extenuating circumstances, like exercise…so in other words, once a day. My results are from using half the amount directed.  First you wash your face  with the detoxifying cleanser, which I do in the shower. I HATE washing my face at the sink. I don’t know why, but I’d rather take a full unnecessary shower to get my face washed, rather than stand at a sink trying to keep water from dripping all down my front. I like it; it has a nice citrusy smell. My face felt fresh afterward.

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But for me, the clarifying cream was where the magic happened. I can’t say no pimples tried to break through in the past month, but I can say that the cream stopped them in their tracks. The most recent product I had tried for getting rid of blemishes quickly was the Target version of those benozoyl peroxide creams that you’re supposed to dab sparingly as needed on pimples. I’ve also tried name brands like Clearasil. The problem is that while those do dry out and shorten the life cycle of the pimple, within a couple uses, my skin is is flaking and begging for moisturizer every five minutes. The Dermagist Clarifying Cream does the job of shortening their life WITHOUT making my skin look like I just crawled out of the Mojave Desert. This is especially good for me because I’m a compulsive picker. I can’t leave anything alone. My husband is constantly slapping my hands away as I absently pick at my face. I’m not gonna say I went cold turkey, but by preventing these blemishes from turning into Godzilla, my fingers definitely had less to work with. And my concealer spent a lot more time in my bag.

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Want to try it for yourself?

To enter the Dermagist Clarifying System giveaway:

1. Please “like” my Facebook page Mixed Up Mommy if you haven’t already. Look to the right column of my blog and you will see the link.

2. Leave a comment on this post saying you’d like to win the Dermagist Clarifying System. Comments will be numbered according to order left. I will pull a number out of hat, jar, bucket, something lying around the house…look, I said I got my face together, not my life.

Dermagist Rules:

1. That the winner “like” their Facebook page and comment why you like their products or are excited to try them.

2. You cannot have won a Dermagist giveaway before.

Winner selected June 12.

 

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The evil pharmacy strikes again!

A favor to ask of everyone: please click on the Top Mommy Blogs link to the right. You don’t have to do anything once you get there, unless you want to browse other mommy blogs, but those clicks get me a higher ranking, which gets more readers to come to my blog and helps spread the word about TSC. Due to a glitch with HTML, it turns out none of my cllicks counted for the last month and I dropped off the ranking list, so please help me get back up!

Connor has now had two swimming lessons, about 30 minutes in length. He generally spends the first 26 minutes looking like, what is wrong with these freaks and why are we doing this? He spends the last four starting to warm up to the idea, and then we get out. But he doesn’t fuss or complain, not even when we dunk him. Just looks at me like I’m a world class idiot.

I'm a Junior Bubble Blower!
I’m a Junior Bubble Blower!

He’s also about to start music therapy. He responded incredibly at our initial meeting with the music therapist, so I signed him up for a weekly group class with other kids, and he will also do a weekly private session with the therapist. And the best part?! Besides the fact that he responded so well to her? She is charging less for a private session than our specialist co-pay would be if I wrangled a way to get it covered.

I”m very excited that I’ve booked my flight to DC to be part of the Walk on the Hill to get more government funding for TSC research. We’ll be making phone calls to set up the meetings with senators and reps shortly. Connor is excited to get rid of me for a couple of days so he and Daddy can get a keg. We’re also in the process of planning our next study visit to Boston at the end of March. While we’re there, we’re planning to have him seen in the Boston TSC clinic. It’s not that we’re not happy with the care he gets here in Atlanta, but we’re already being flown up by the study, so it only makes sense to have as many eyes on him as possible. Happily, we are covered by United Healthcare. I’m feeling good about UH today. Sure, we’ve had our minor aggravations, but piddly stuff. Thank you, United Healthcare, for not putting me through this, and thank you, social media, for allowing this. I’ve only ever managed to use social media to get refunds on crappy products or questionable charges, so this is quite impressive. It’s just a shame that this is starting to become the norm of how people can get anything done. You can’t be nice anymore, and that sucks. Aetna deserves the bad press. (If you don’t have time to click those links, long story short: Aetna was behaving HORRIBLY toward another TSC mom, and putting her daughter’s life at risk).

Speaking of companies that suck, Accredo Pharmacy is at the top of my s#&* list. I’ve complained about them before, here and here, in case you don’t recall. I didn’t throw their name out there then. But I’m done, and would love nothing more than for a Google search of their name to lead to my blog, especially since I discovered in an online TSC discussion group, several other people fighting with this inept facility. We encountered yet ANOTHER problem filling our prescription of vigabatrin, Connor’s most important medication, a seizure medication. Seizure medications are the kind of medications you don’t just miss a dose of. It can be serious, but this pharmacy, ACCREDO PHARMACY, shows time and time again that they have no understanding of this. Or they just don’t care because it’s a specialty drug and they know we can’t just run to CVS instead.

So this time THEY called ME to set up his refill shipment. It seemed to go smoothly. I thought things were finally flowing. Since we had over  a couple weeks left, it was scheduled to come about 10 days later. They really love to ship at the last possible second, but I’m tired of arguing with them, and since everything seemed to have been cleared up with them, I thought, well this still gives a few days of safety net. Unbeknownst to me, this was not just a refill. It required a new authorization from the doctor. Now, that is THEIR responsibility to handle, but I wish I’d known because I would have seen it all coming and facilitated the refill as a precaution, as I’m well aware of the fact that this pharmacy is barely functioning. The day the meds are supposed to arrive I get a call saying they never shipped because they never got a response from the doctor. Funny how they have this problem, but when I need to get his other stuff at CVS, I never do.

On the phone AGAIN with Accredo.
On the phone AGAIN with Accredo.

And nobody ever called to tell me there was a problem. Something I could have solved by contacting our doctor, which I now did in a panic because I know how slowly these idiots move, and I know a new prescription has a turnaround time of roughly six years, even though it’s 2013 and a tweet can circle the globe in 4 seconds. The neuro nurse contacts them, provides the prescription, and then proceeds to have them remove all the incorrect contact info from their database because this whole time THEY HAVE BEEN CALLING THE WRONG PRACTICE! And guess what?! I have already corrected the phone number with them. MONTHS AGO. At this point I’ve involved an employee at the pharmaceutical company that I was put in contact with regarding previous issues I’ve had with Accredo, telling her I’m freaking out because I don’t know if it’s coming and every time I call, I get a new rep who has no clue what’s going on. So she’s doing something, and then she tells me she has someone else looking into it as well, and I continue to call and tell my story over and over to every clueless rep that answers. It’s clear that none of them undertand that it MUST SHIP TODAY. It’s Friday. It MUST come Saturday because we fly to Boston Sunday and our last dose is Monday morning. Nobody cares. By the way, when I called the next day, they STILL had the wrong number for our doctor in the database. Somehow, miraculously, it ships Friday afternoon to be delivered the next day. I don’t know if it was my pharmaceutical contact or not, but I imagine it wasn’t MY powers of persuasion. But I can’t handle these monthly Accredo meltdown days anymore. So I took to the TSC discussion group to warn people away from this place. Options are limited, but if they can, run, run away! Two other people shared their nightmare stories with me about Accredo, how one actually has run out of meds, and the other can’t get her first shipment scheduled to save her life. So I privately passed the contact info I had of the pharmaceutical person, and can only hope if enough people complain, this place will get cut off.

Connor’s neurologist plans to attempt to wean him off the vigabatrin when he turns one. If the spasms are gone, it’s done. If they aren’t, we have to stay on it. Oh please let them be gone, first of all for Connor, but also, just a little bit for my sanity, too.

Having your own Accredo issues? Please read my followup on Accredo here.