Tag Archives: seizure

Seizure Hunter — The Elusive Prey

Seizures are really obvious. I couldn’t possibly miss one. We’ve all seen them on television: the fall to the floor, the violent thrashing, maybe some foaming at the mouth. Therefore, it’s really easy to keep track of them for the neurologist and make decisions about which medication is the perfect match for your situation.

Hear that? That is the sound of the collective eye rolling of the epilepsy community. Just kidding, ya’ll!

It turns out that a seizure can look like damn near anything. Eye rolling, staring, wandering, confusion, a single limb jerking, lips puckering, a split second head drop, a split second loss of muscle tone that sends a person plummeting to the floor, jackknife motions of the body, going stiff as a board, a scream…or nothing. Nothing at all. All you know is that suddenly your child went from smiling and laughing to laying his head on the floor and going to sleep, or he’s suddenly so weak that his arms give out and he smacks his head on the floor resulting in two black eyes. It’s not just seizure freedom that can be elusive, but the seizures themselves.

Was that a seizure? Was that? And what about that? Do I count that if I’m not sure? Was that one seizure or two different ones back to back? And that one? That one looked like a weird combination of tonic clonic and complex partial, so which do I mark it as on my Seizure Tracker app? Our smart phones fill with videos of suspicious behavior we share with our online support groups and doctors trying to get answers. It takes an hour to do the dishes because I turn around and look at the baby every 30 seconds to see if anything is happening. Every stoplight I turn around and squint at the baby mirror. If he has actually managed to go a few days seizure free, when one happens, I play mind games with myself about putting it in the tracker. That was a small one. Am I sure it was really a seizure? Does it count if I don’t record it?

I think the first year was the worst. Babies are weird and do weird stuff. How do I differentiate normal weird from abnormal weird? Is he discovering his hands or is he seizing? Trying to roll over or seizing? It’s even worse if it is the first child and there is no one to compare him to. It’s a little easier with a toddler. Not easy. Just easier. It is easier for me to distinguish typical behavior from anomalies, or if a movement was intentional or not. Not all the time, but enough to do the dishes in a reasonable amount of time. Or settle for a quick glance in the rear view. Sometimes I even settle for logging the seizure type as “unknown .”

And choosing just the right medication? Yes, that was another collective eye roll. We experiment, and change doses, combine two, three, maybe even more seizure medications. We try one med with great anticipation because it made another kid seizure free, only to find that it makes our kid have more. And if we find one that works, eventually he insists on growing or something else changes, and the experiment continues.

I have to accept that there are limits to what I can fix and do the best I can.

Most importantly, I finally realized that it doesn’t make me a bad parent if I don’t always know. I WILL miss seizures. I won’t know what every movement is. There won’t always be answers. There will be good days and bad days. But they will be worth it.

IMG_1518

Thank you to joshprovides.org for granting Connor an Emfit seizure monitor.
Thank you to joshprovides.org for granting Connor an Emfit seizure monitor for his crib.

IMG_1313

Advertisements

I like to think that God has given me other gifts to make up for me having such a rare disease.

Second Annual “Blogging for TSC Awareness Month” Day 23

by guest blogger Kate Carter  (Ann Arbor, Michigan)

297781_1483085518122_1098623929_nI was diagnosed with tuberous sclerosis back when I was 2 ½ years old. I am now approaching my 22nd birthday. So, I have lived with TSC as long as I can remember but I haven’t let that stop me. As far as we know there is no genetic link so it’s just a mutation that happened to pick me. I have seen many things through my times at hospitals for annual visits. I remember being in one of the early MRI machines and watching the improvements in research and other medical developments. Sure, things got tough at times but I always maintained a positive attitude. I am very luck to have a “mild” case of Tuberous Sclerosis but still very affected. If it weren’t for such an active lifestyle and healthy diet, I wouldn’t be this “well” off. But through it all, there are still challenges. In my 8th grade year I suffered a grand mal seizure that lasted 90 minutes. I came away with no brain damage but still managed to get the flu. Somewhere up there someone is looking out for me. I haven’t had a specifically labeled seizure event since then. I have things that we are calling “spells” because they aren’t sure. It’s a mix of anxiety attacks and seizures but not bad enough to make me unconscious. It is very frustrating to not know what these things are and know how to treat them. I often think though, my life could be so much worse and I know all us TSC suffers all have things we 1450206_10201859552184922_1568234232_ndon’t understand. The world doesn’t understand. I hope that continues to change.

Of all the challenges, my learning disability has been the most difficult thing for me in terms of this disease. Some days I would remember things and
others I would draw a complete blank. I can’t thank my teachers, professors, coaches, and parents for helping me thus far in life. Since I just graduated from college, it is time to begin the next chapter in life and to learn to live on my own. Throughout my life I have never felt like I wasn’t “normal.” I like to think that God has given me other gifts to make up for me having such a rare disease. I have excelled athletically. In high school I was nationally ranked in the 800m by my senior year and all-American on relay teams. All of that lead to the wonderful scholarship to my respected university, my coach had no idea what my disease was but took a chance on me and I can’t thank her enough. Just because I 31393_1494934937388_733010_nhave a certain disease doesn’t mean I can’t do things like my peers. My parents have been by my side from day 1 but have to slowly pull back because I’m aging and have to take on my own responsibilities. I am both excited and nervous for the leeway. Wondering what will happen next, but I figure if I’ve made it this far. I’m sure I’ll be just fine.

To all those that are younger than me and or parents, I suggest if able get involved in sports. That has kept me healthy in more ways then one and always looks at life positively. Sure times will get tough and you will have breakdowns but just know there is always a tomorrow and another challenge to master. Always surprise. Let’s make the world aware of us.

60404_1620861685478_8298019_n

 

 

 

Our happily ever after felt as if it was being taken away from us.

Second Annual “Blogging for TSC Awareness Month” Day 13

by guest blogger Heather Lens   (Stilwell, Oklahoma)

Madilyn Rae Lens, was born on October 19th, 2012. She was born a perfectly healthy little girl. She was a dream come true! We had no reason to believe 1234820_4656475948570_2025514539_nthat she would be anything but healthy as she hit milestones in her first 5 months of life.

All of those thoughts changed when at 5 1/2 months old she started doing a weird twitch with her arms. I was feeding her and she kept throwing her arms in the air. My mommy instincts went off immediately. Deep down inside I knew something was wrong. Nothing she was doing looked like a seizure to me, but for some reason my mind kept going back to wondering if it was a seizure. After a day of seeing light twitches I took her to her pediatricians office. Unfortunately, her pediatrician wasn’t there so we had to see another provider there. He told me he didn’t think it was anything other than motor reflexes but he would refer us to a neurologist to calm my fears. I left his office that day full of mixed emotions. I was happy that the doctor said it was probably nothing but still had a gut feeling that he was missing something. I had been around my siblings when they were infants and I didn’t ever remember seeing anything like this. I cried the entire way home at the thought of waiting 2-3 weeks for the referral. How could I wait that long for answers? I called my husband and told him something wasn’t right. He immediately left the fire station and came home. That night I consulted the lovely library of Google. Everything I looked at said the term Infantile Spasms. I was sick after reading information about this catastrophic type of seizures. I knew that this is what she had. I cried and told my husband about it and he agreed we would take her to a children’s hospital first thing in the morning. I didn’t sleep a wink that night. My mind was going in all directions. The  next morning, while I was getting her ready to leave for the hospital, she had one of the most intense episodes. Her eyes started rolling up and she would cry like she was in pain. We loaded up and headed for the hospital which was two hours away. The car was silent the entire way. I was able to catch a few of her twitching episodes on the way to the hospital . We got to the ER and we were immediately admitted after the ER doctor saw a video of the seizure. Still at this point no one was calling it a seizure they were calling them muscle spasms, which gave me a false hope that maybe it was nothing.

558704_10100447182455011_1003519270_nAfter being admitted she was put through a million tests, blood, urine, MRI, EEG, EKG and probably more that I 10307367_10200927489788174_5094866193832748621_ndon’t recall now. After her first EEG it was confirmed that our perfectly healthy little girl was having Infantile Spasms and if we didn’t get them under control immediately it could lead to mental retardation. Those words hit me like a ton of bricks. We were devastated and couldn’t seem to figure out how she could have such an awful type seizure when she had been healthy up until now. After they explained her diagnosis of IS they said they also needed to rule out a rare genetic disorder that can sometimes coexist with IS. They were going to check to see if any of her organs were “marked” with a disease called tuberous sclerosis. I remember being 100% confident that they were wasting their time looking for this rare disease. They already told us she had IS, it couldn’t get worse than that. I recall my mom and husband trying to find information regarding TSC online and I got a little angry at them. I didn’t know why they were wasting their time looking at it because she simply could not have a rare genetic disease along with these seizures. I have no doubt that I was going through denial at that point.

The next day we got the heart wrenching news that she in fact had tumors on her brain and heart. She showed enough signs that she did have TSC. My heart broke into a million pieces that day. At one point I do remember feeling as though life was over. I was terrified of our daughters future. All of the things I had envisioned for my daughter was suddenly ripped out of my hands. We were told that she would be delayed, she may need brain surgery, she may never be able to live an independent life. She may never walk, talk, feed herself. It was all doom and gloom. Our happily ever after felt as if it was being taken away from us.

We left the hospital a few days later and were as well equipped as possible for her new type of care. After two days of taking Sabril her IS disappeared! And 1382781_4821538395028_1044385447_nabout a month of being on Sabril we started to see her personality shine through. Although we still had the fear of this disease. she was showing us signs of hope! We waited and watched her like a hawk, anticipating the next seizure.

Fast forward a year. We haven’t seen a seizure since April 26th 2013. We also have been beyond blessed that all those frightening things we were preparing for have not shown themselves. Madilyn is currently on track with her development and is a month away from starting the weaning process.

The past year has been such a whirlwind. Our emotions have been scattered all over the place. Thankfully we have outstanding family members and community that have helped us move forward with life, and have taken on our cause as well. We have seen an overwhelming amount of support for Madilyn and our family. Without the support and our faith we would be lost. I am so beyond thankful for this past year. She has shown me what it means to have courage and strength. She doesn’t stop fighting for one second, which means I wont stop fighting for her either. She is my little fighter, and my constant reminder of true love.

10173556_10200800647617199_712737875077673219_n
Check out Heather’s blog Life with My Princess and her contribution to this blog for 2013’s TSC Awareness Month.

Let’s go Georgia…We can’t let Florida, Tennessee and Alabama beat us.

Oh, did you think this post was about football? Then you clearly don’t know me. It’s the SEC of MMJ. And Georgia is losing.

Some Alabama lawmakers ready to legalize marijuana-derived oil that helps control seizures

Article here.

‘Glimmer of hope’ for medical marijuana in Florida

Article here.

Medical Marijuana Bill Filed in Tennessee

Article here.

And for those still hung up on not being able to see marijuana as anything but an illegal drug (even though pediatric treatment is an oil that isn’t smoked and doesn’t get you high), why are you okay with FDA-approved drugs that can do this:

article-2530028-1A4EC52900000578-65_306x423

One of Connor’s meds carries this rare but potential side effect. Read about it here.

Still opposed? I guess you are okay with seeing my baby do this.

Self Prescribing Some Wine for my Whine

My frustration and irritation level is way up this week. We’ve been looking at the possibility of reducing the price on our home since we’re getting so many looks, including three second looks, but no offers. Then we got the heads up that another jerk in the neighborhood is going on the market this weekend priced almost $10,000 less and with a bonus room we don’t have. So we preemptively dropped the price and are hoping for a miracle before they hit the market. And unlike the other house that went on the market in our neighborhood that is under contract despite rotten wood and a lousy yard, this one actually has great curb appeal. Oh, please let it be a brass-infested wonderland inside. And if they go under contract first and accept an offer below a certain price point, we’re screwed and stuck where we are.

We had some people view the house yesterday that reportedly loved it. Except they have a second child on the way and they want more room. I’m not real clear on why they looked at all. Stop getting my hopes up, people!

Then, to top every thing off, Connor’s neurologist called yesterday with the results of his EEG. The stupid tuber in his left occipital lobe is acting up again. It has put out spikes before, but apparently Connor is having subclinical seizures again. Those are seizures that have no outward appearance, but show up on EEG. The tuber he had removed when he was four months old was causing him to have a couple subclinicals an hour, plus a handful of clinical (ones we could see) a day. We haven’t seen any on EEG since then. Yay. Here we go again. He assured me that this was nothing like when Connor was born but he did see more than one in the eight hours. Mother F. When we started him on Trileptal, we upped the dose once per directions, but never upped the second time — per directions — since we weren’t really seeing anything anymore. So now we are upping and will have another EEG once Connor is totally off the vigabatrin.

I’m just really baffled by the whole concept of a subclinical seizure. I know what the technical definition is; I just don’t get how it affects him. Yes, I understand it’s not good to have funky brain activity, but if he shows no outward signs, how is it affecting him? Like, if I had one right now, what would it do? Does he feel something we can’t see? Connor is happy and progressing, but would he be progressing faster without them? Maybe. Or would it even matter because so many factors go into delaying a TSC kid? If by some crazy chance, someone with epilepsy reads this and has subclinicals on their EEG, if you could enlighten me to your experience…

UnknownSpeaking of progression, here is an area where he is fighting us tooth and nail. The bottle. I cannot get that kid off the nipple. He doesn’t care what style or shape the cup is  — he’d probably even drink out of Flavor Flav’s chalice — it just better have a nipple on top. The hard plastic sippy cups inspire instant anger and hurling of the container, so we tried the sippy cups that are interchangeable with his bottle. We can either have the sippy cup mouthpiece or the regular nipple. He hates this sippy cup mouthpiece a little less because it’s pliable like a nipple, but other than sticking it in his mouth a few times, he just plays with his bottle. His speech therapist gave us some things to try, but thus far, no luck. Maybe his college roommate will shame him away from it.

I mean, how much difference can there be?!
I mean, how much difference can there be?!

I leave you with a montage of Connor’s funky sleeping positions. Apparently some people have to plan their whole day around their kid’s naps. Not me!

photo-35

photo-37

photo-39

photo-38

photo-33

photo-34

Please click the icon to the right to vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs! You don’t have to do anything other than click it. I get a lot more referrals from them, the higher I’m ranked!