Massiah was diagnosed with tuberous sclerosis complex during utero or fetal development. My Warrior was born with tumors on his brain and in his heart. He also has tumors behind his eyes and cysts on his kidneys. He started having seizures at one week. At six months, he was diagnosed with epilepsy. At 17 months, he was diagnosed with complex partial epilepsy with generalization, generalized convulsive epilepsy with intractable epilepsy and tuberous sclerosis complex. His current diagnosis is partial symptomatic epilepsy with complex partial seizures, intractable, without status epilepticus, infantile spasms with intractable epilepsy and tuberous sclerosis complex. He may have anywhere from one to 18 seizures a day while taking medication. His current medications include Trileptal and Depakene three times per day in addition to Sabril twice a day. He takes diastat acudial when needed for emergencies. He will soon be taken off Sabril and start Onfi. He will also be taken off his other meds one at a time depending on his seizure control. His current neurologist at A.I. Dupont Children’s Hospital, has discussed the Ketogenic diet, Topamax, vagal nerve stimulator, ACTH and Banzel. He was on Keppra but needed to be taken off due to aggressive behavior. He has gone through numerous EEG/VEEG, MRI, CT and PET scans, sedations and ultra sounds.
Massiah has developmental and physical delays. I was told that he would be mute and mentally disabled due to the amount of white brain matter, tubers, and tumors on his brain. Doctors also informed me that he would need a wheelchair due to low muscle tone throughout his body, especially his legs. So, you can imagine my surprise when he started crawling and taking steps. Also, imagine my surprise when he said mom for the first time on my birthday; just weeks before turning one himself. Massiah receives aid from an early childhood educator, behavioral, physical, occupational, and speech therapist. He just completed the shapes puzzle by himself after working on it for over a year and now says 60+ words. Massiah is very active and energetic. He enjoys Jake and the Neverland Pirates and Mickey Mouse, legos, cars, air planes and throwing balls. His favorite movie is Disney’s Cars.
Second Annual “Blogging for TSC Awareness Month” Day 32
by guest blogger Susan McBrine (Oregon)
Words a parent never wants to hear… Or expects to hear. Yet every day, all over the world, parents are still getting this diagnosis for their child, who may be experiencing seizures, developmental delay, autism, kidney and brain tumors and more .
I got this diagnosis for my daughter over 40 years ago and I must say it changed my life forever. I became an informed, determined, assertive researcher, educator and advocate for making sure that I knew and found all there was to know and do to help her achieve her potential. In the process I helped found Tuberous Sclerosis Alliance and tried to help many other famiilies find hope for better treatments and a better life for their children with this disease .
This year we celebrate 40 years of TS Alliance’s existence. The organization has acomplished so much by advocating for and funding research, supporting families and much more. We celebrate, but I am also saddened that many other young moms are also still going through what I did to get treatment and diagnosis. I am saddened that tuberous sclerosis exists. Yet, as a mom who has raised a child to adulthood and lost her child to this disease, I am grateful for what tuberous sclerosis taught me about life, love and even her death.
Being a parent of a special needs child is life changing in so many ways, but in my case it changed my career and my perspective on life in general. It made me appreciate little things and focus on what is really important in life.
It also taught me valuable lessons on letting go of a child as she grew. I learned to finally let go and let my disabled daughter have more of life of her own, despite her disabilities. It is very hard, when you miss those developmental milestones that non disabled kids have — when your child goes to kindergarten, off to college, work, marriage — to know when and how much to let go and encourage independence in a child who is basically totally or semi- dependent on you. The need to protect our vulnerable child is great and the tendency to overprotect always exists.
It was hard to step back and stop doing for her and let her do for herself. Dressing herself, going on the bus alone, spending the night away from me at a camp, having a boyfriend, and finally living in a group home with friends. All things other kids may do as they grow up, but for moms like us, whose child needs supervison and support in so many ways, it is hard to let go even a little.
Letting go and teaching independence is important so that we don’t actually encourage dependence without realizing it.
Teaching age appropriate behavior to a 20-year old who would just as soon wear Mickey Mouse t-shirts and play with toys, that she is a young adult and must dress and be treated as a young adult is hard. I learned how, with help from many in her life, and from her.
I also was pleasantly surprised by how well she adapted to life in a group home at age 27. I thought she’d miss me so much I’d have to bring her home in a week. Nope! She flourished with her newfound independence and social life with her housemates — something I couldn’t give her at home with just the two of us. I also couldn’t continue to give her 24-hour care while I had to work and sleep. She got fresh caretakers every eight hours who weren’t tired, cranky or had other things to do.
What is hard for parents to admit as we get older (and we will) — the 24-hour care taking can be too hard without help. And the time will come when we can’t do it any more due to our age or illness.
We have to really be realistic about helping our child find a place in the world as an adult without us while we are still around to help them transition. It’s harder if we die and they experience the grief of missing us and have to transition to a new home. That is the letting go and the transition we all worry about the most. We worry no one else will care for her or him as we do.
As a special education teacher of young adults 16 -22, I often heard parents say, “She can’t or won’t do that at home. How did you get her to do that?” Some of my students had very low ability, but were able to work with some support and could learn to do things like cook, load dishwashers and do laundry for themselves. Things their parents didn’t let them do because they thought they couldn’t. It’s always amazing what they can do when we let go. I learned that my very delayed and disabled daughter could do so much more than I ever thought or would have allowed her to do until I learned to let go some!
Every child is different and every state and family has different resources available, but it is something to think about for every parent.
Teaching independence and letting go is something to do gradually. After all, we all want all of our children to be happy, have a social life of some kind, to experience love and friendship, and to be able to support themselves in some way. They can’t do that if we dont teach independence and responsibility to all our children.
Stacia taught me much in life. Tolerance, patience, unconditional love, selflessness and how to see the world through her eyes. Her life was a gift to me in so many ways, although battling her disease was also hell in so many ways.
I am grateful for the support the TS Alliance gives parents today, and for the hope that all our children with disabilities will have better lives to live and increased opportunities to do so in today’s world. We can all help them by increasing awareness of not only TSC, but of all those with disabilities and their need for acceptance, employment, education and a place in society.
From Becky (Mixed Up Mommy): Thank you so much to everyone who contributed this year! It has been a pleasure to share your stories and read your personal or your child’s triumphs. I leave you with some artistic contributions from TSC warriors.
Second Annual “Blogging for TSC Awareness Month” Day 31
by guest blogger Sandy Rhodes (Altoona, Pennsylvania)
My husband and I were married two years when we decided to start our family. We had it all planned out to try for a child in the late fall so that I could deliver between semesters. I was accepted into a school for my Family Nurse Practitioner degree in 2012 and didn’t want to take a semester off. The stars must have aligned just right, because we found out in October we were expecting our first child! I cannot begin to tell you the emotions of seeing two positive pregnancy tests after trying for three months with no luck (I am aware that isn’t a really long time). I was so excited I called off work thinking the OB/GYN doctor would want to see me that day.
We had our first appointment in late November that confirmed our pregnancy. We told our families on Thanksgiving. They had to know something was up when I volunteered to do the blessing before the meal. The pregnancy was not anything unusual. I was sick the first twenty weeks with horrible nausea. I was sick daily and spent my fair share of time in the bathroom. My husband was a superstar during my pregnancy. He made it to every appointment, dopplered the baby’s heartbeat daily with our home Doppler, and cared for me on top of working full time. Our labs and ultrasound were all normal. We found out we were having a boy right before Easter 2013.
The labor and delivery of our son Camden was uncomplicated. I had a great epidural! My son Camden weighed in at 8 pounds ½ ounce born July 20, 2013. No one could believe the size of him. We brought Camden home July 22nd with no complications. Things would stay relatively normal for approximately seven months.
February our lives changed forever. My husband was explaining an episode Camden had when he was giving him a bottle before bed. He said his arms flew up several times, and he was really fussy. I am a nurse and wrote the entire situation off as the startle reflex. It was two days later walking through Walmart when I witnessed an episode for myself. It made me uneasy to see Camden’s arm rising up to the left and his head turning that way in a series of pull like motions. I told my husband I would call the pediatrician in the morning because Camden seemed fine before and after the episodes. I thought maybe he was teething or had a low grade temp. That night as I was rocking Cam to sleep he had an episode in my arms. This is when I knew things were more wrong than I could figure out. I called our pediatrician on call who told me if it was his son he’d go to Pittsburgh Children’s Hospital. We packed a bag, called our parents, and drove the two hours to Children’s. My father and mother -in-law made the trip with us, thankfully.
We checked in and were taken to a bay in the ER. They were very slow that night and we received several ideas that seemed like minor fixes. The ER physician said he believed Camden was having intestinal pain and a minor laparoscopic surgery would easily correct this common retropulsion issue. Camden’s electrolytes came back with high potassium, but that was later found to be hemolyzed and inaccurate. That would’ve required the administration of medication to make him poop out the extra potassium. While in the ER bay Cam had another episode. I yelled at my husband to find a doctor and pulled my cell phone out to record what I was seeing.
We were admitted and Cam was given an IV bolus of Keppra. This made things so much worse. He had several more episodes when we reached our room. We were hooked up to an EEG machine in the wee hours of the morning for an hour long study. Cam only had one episode during this time. When the tech came to remove Cam’s leads he received a call stating he was to be left on the machine. My heart sank. I knew there had to be something wrong for the EEG to continue. Three hours into the EEG a neurologist came into the room. He explained that the EEG was showing hypsarrhythmia. This was a common feature of infantile spasms. I was kind of optimistic in the next few seconds thinking how minor most spasms are. The optimism was short lived as the physician continued to say the word epilepsy. How could my baby have epilepsy? We aren’t epileptic, our family has no history, there were no problems during my pregnancy, and he was an uncomplicated delivery! He ordered an MRI for that day.
So much had happened in half a day. I was sitting in the noisy MRI machine as my sedated baby underwent his testing. I remember praying to God to make things ok and get us home. I remember picking him up off of the table to go to recovery where my husband was waiting. I laid him down on the table so the nurse could get vital signs. The BP had not even come up yet on the machine when two physicians entered the room. We were prepping Cam for a lumbar puncture to rule out infection at this time. Then another nurse came in and removed the LP tray. The doctors looked at Mike and me and asked us to sit down. I lost it. I knew in that instant there was something drastically wrong. My mind was running wild thinking about tumors and defects and malformations.
The neurologist from earlier started by saying your son has a textbook case of tuberous sclerosis. I was sobbing and had no idea what tuberous sclerosis was. I remember trying to write down the name so I could relay it to our family, but the pen in my hand felt foreign. The doctor explained there was an amazing website to look for information because we might become overwhelmed if we use Google (TS Alliance.org). They told us our son would most likely be autistic, have delays, and had potential for other organ involvement. They remained with us for about ten minutes of crying questions about outcomes, treatments, and pathology of TSC. I asked them to spell vigabatrin about three times before I just gave up. They left us with our sedated son and the nurse.
How could this be happening to our baby? We had prayed and planned for him. We had zero neurological history anywhere on our family trees. Could things be any more crazy and devastating!? We stayed in our devastated state for several hours, inconsolable. Our parents were trying to be positive, but we were stuck with the reality our son would have TSC for life. He could potentially some day want to have children and have to deal with this ugly disease.
It was later that night a nurse sat down with us and brought us a computer to look at the TS Alliance site. We read about others with the disease and actually watched videos of other babies having infantile spasms. It was uplifting to read positive stories of achievements and children reaching milestones. This was our first glimmer of hope that we held onto and used to fuel us to remain positive. Camden had an echo, renal ultrasound, and EKG that were normal. We used this as motivation as well. The entire four-day admission our son was pleasant and cooperative with testing.
On Sunday February 10 they decided our son was a candidate for Sabril. We signed consent forms and had our supply for home delivered that evening to Children’s Hospital. Cam received his first dose in the hospital. Monday he had his eyes dilated for an eye exam which was normal, and we were discharged home. Our five day stay in the hospital revealed more than anyone could’ve ever guessed. We had a diagnosis no one locally had ever heard about.
At home we continued Sabril. Camden’s last episode of IS was February 16. He has become an even happier baby with the use of Sabril. I rely on the TS Alliance for updates and support on a daily basis. This diagnosis is not a death sentence. The overall vibe from Pittsburgh Children’s Hospital was professional and geared at being prepared for the worst. They have been excellent with our follow up care, and we have grown extremely found of Dr. Thodeson who will be leaving in June. We found our way to Cincinnati Children’s Hospital for a research study and felt a completely different vibe. They are all more personal and positive. It has been amazing to have exposure at two TS Clinics. We are in this for the long run to do everything in our power to better our son’s life. We will go anywhere, pay anything, and be there 24/7 for every up and down. This disease is filled with ups and downs. We are pretty new to the TS community, but the welcoming and support has really kept our faith alive. We pray every day for our son to live a long life, learn from everyone, and love all. We are not going to let TSC define our baby. He will show TSC who is boss! He’s come so far already. He is 10 months old and has not yet had any delays. He rolls, crawls, babbles, and has the greatest smile. We are thankful every second of every day to have Camden the baby we prayed and planned for!
Second Annual “Blogging for TSC Awareness Month” Day 30
by guest blogger Katie Creamer (Long Beach, California)
Two and half years ago one of my biggest dreams had come true; I was so happy and extremely proud when my healthy and beautiful baby boy was born. My husband and I had been waiting and preparing the best we could for this exact moment for a long time and we were finally ready. My baby was perfect; beautiful, big, had a full head of hair already, had 10 fingers and toes, and alert from the first moment we met.
This being our first baby it took us a while to understand each other’s needs as I recovered from my Cesarian section and immediately started breast feeding, but within a few weeks we were perfectly in sync and in pure bliss. Being a mom was amazing and I immediately knew why I was put on this earth; to be Keenan’s mommy. When I look back at those first few weeks, the only clue we had that our life would soon be shocked to the core was a white spot/ birthmark on his knee that our pediatrician had waved off as no big deal. We quickly began the newborn pattern of the day filled with eating, sleeping, and pooping; we thought everything was perfectly normal.
Where our story is slightly different then a lot of others lies within the next 18 months. We lived the next 18 months as a normal, healthy, happy new family. Keenan hit milestones on time and was a constant thrill to watch him cognitively advance and become a little person. We were doing perfect and beginning to plan for a sibling for Keenan in the future. Then at 19 months old Keenan spiked his first high fever which caused a “febrile seizure.” Witnessing that was what I thought would be the scariest moment of my life. We called 911, had our first ambulance ride, and by the time we got to the hospital everything had settled down. We were told Keenan had just had a febrile seizure which was explained to us as “no big deal” and “some kids are just susceptible to this, but they eventually grow out of it.” Next time, “just remain calm, then when it stops bring him in afterward”, “they can last up to 15 minutes, but just try to remain calm.” We were told this is common (we even saw another baby come in after a febrile seizure while we were there), we were told how to avoid fever spikes and seizures in the future with high doses of Advil and Tylenol, and then sent home. Proud of how my husband and I handled this emergency and what we thought might be our biggest challenge, we went on with our lives. I researched what I could and tried not to worry too much, till six weeks later when Keenan had another fever. With this fever I was ready with alarms for meds throughout the night but didn’t need them because I didn’t sleep at all and just watched him through the night like a hawk. He had made it through the night without a problem so I went to work in the morning and left Keenan in my husband’s capable hands.
I’ll never forget at 10 am when I was finally able to check my cell phone and saw that I had five missed calls from my husband. Listening to the voicemails confirmed my worst fears, I could hear my husband saying, “it’s ok Keenan, daddy’s here.” My heart dropped because I knew Keenan was having a seizure. I called my husband quickly to find out what hospital to meet him at, and to my surprise he hadn’t called 911 yet, now realizing he was following the ER doctors instructions and he was following perfectly, “waiting it out.” My mama gut came screaming out and told him to call 911, and he did. When the paramedics had arrived he had been seizing for over 20 minutes and they had to sedate him to stop the seizure. Looking back, our first mistake was listening to the ER doctor. My son had experienced a status event.
After a few hours of my son lying lifelessly in the ER, he started to struggle to open his eyes and make sense of his situation. Quickly we noticed that he could not move his entire left side or even move his eyes to the left even when I called him. We were scared to death and a CAT scan was done on his brain right away. Within 15 min they told us that he had a brain tumor and multiple “lesions” on his brain, and they told us he had something we had never heard of, Tuberous Sclerosis. I didn’t hear anything from that moment on even though I saw the doctor’s mouth moving, except then I heard “there is no cure.”
We sat in shock for the next two weeks, researching what we could (but the internet scared us to death) and making many specialist doctor appointments. We heard many grim possibilities, but the scariest we heard was that “how this disease will affect your son can not be predicted” and it’s all about dealing with one symptom at a time as they pop up for the rest of his life. Keenan also has been diagnosed with polycystic kidney disease, has a “medium burden” of tubers in his brain, one SEGA, and multiple nodules. We now sit in the unknown trying to cherish every moment because we have no idea what the future will bring.
Coming up on 1 year since Keenan’s diagnosis we have gone through three different anti-seizure meds trying to control his 4-20 seizures a day without any success, we have faced the tremendous life changing decision to make to try brain surgery on our 2 and a half year old son to try to stop the seizures, Keenan has to have MRI’s every 6 months on his brain and abdomen to watch the multiple tumors and cysts on his kidneys, and blood work every 3 months. Everything and all his tumors have to be monitored to decide when the next major decision has to be made.
Sometimes we feel like we are just waiting for the next bomb to drop, but we have learned so much in this past year. The major lesson we’ve learned is to prepare for the future but live in the moment: whether it be good or bad it won’t last long. So cherish the good times and live them to the fullest!
Second Annual “Blogging for TSC Awareness Month” Day 29
by guest blogger Sara Weathersby (Decatur, Georgia)
Unlike many who have blogged about TSC, I am not diagnosed with it or caring for someone who has the diagnosis. I became aware of TSC and the havoc it wreaks through my friends Becky and Chris and their son Connor. Becky and I went to college together and remained friends in the following years. We were delighted to find out we were pregnant at the same time. Connor was due just a month before my second son, Malcolm. My older son, Max, was a young toddler at the time, so I would share product recommendations and advice with Becky over the next several months.
One day, Becky told me that the doctors found something irregular with Connor’s heart on an ultrasound and were going to observe him more carefully and call in a specialist to examine him once he arrived. I honestly, confidently believed with every fiber of my being that the doctors were being overly cautious. If ever there’s a time for doctors to be so cautious, it is certainly when the health of a baby, particularly my friend’s baby, is at stake. Neither of us were very worried as we talked about ponytail holders and chapstick going into the bags to go to the hospital.
When Connor was born, Becky and I texted back and forth. The delivery went well and she and Chris were just waiting for the nurse to bring him back to them after some observation. They waited to hold and cuddle their precious new son. I waited for the obligatory pictures to pop on my phone. They waited to gaze into his eyes and memorize every inch of his perfect face. I waited to hear once and for all that everything was great.
But it wasn’t great. While in the nursery a nurse noticed Connor was having a seizure. While Becky and Chris waited, the nurses and doctors were trying to figure out what was going on with Connor and how to treat him. They diagnosed him with TSC and kept him hospitalized for a month. They determined that he would need neurosurgery to remove a tuber from his brain to hopefully stop the seizures. The doctors expected him to have developmental delays but didn’t have a clue what that would look like.
This is not the kind of thing that happens to me or my friends. We work hard, pay taxes and make good choices. How could this be happening? How could someone that I know and love have to go home from the hospital without her baby? What could I possibly say to Becky and Chris? I certainly had no “been there, done that” mommy advice to offer.
Somehow, Becky and her family were absorbed into some kind of parallel universe where you don’t get to room in with your newborn and take him home to his new nursery in a day or two. Instead, my friend stayed at the side of her baby’s incubator surrounded by tubes, wires and machines that allowed the doctors to best figure out a plan for his treatment.
Meanwhile, I’m waddling around, near the end of my own completely healthy pregnancy with my completely healthy son. I wondered what in the world I had to offer this friendship while Becky was going through so much. I felt a strange sense of guilt and sadness. All the while I shared in Becky and Chris’s joy that their son was born.
If I was feeling all these emotions, how much more intense it must have been for Becky and Chris! I grieved for all the expectations, spoken and unspoken, I had for this new phase in my friendship with Becky. We were both moms now and our sons were supposed to play together. But what now? How was TSC going to change our friendship? I determined that it was better to show up not knowing exactly what to say or do and risk putting my foot in my mouth than to do or say nothing. Becky and Chris sat in that parallel new parent universe where nothing comes easy. They were so sad that Connor was having seizures and had been diagnosed with TSC but yet overjoyed to have a son. They were devastated that there son is not typical but hopeful that his growth and development will come along such that TSC will not put any limits on what he can do.
In the universe I’m accustomed to of course parenting is tough and an emotional roller coaster. In the parallel universe where Becky is, it seems more intense. There are more doctors and appointments to keep, more worry, more money to spend, more resources to find. Everything is just more. Meanwhile, my own little one made his way into the world and disrupted everything in just the way you expect. How do I step into this strange place where Becky and Chris are without sounding trite or lacking compassion?
It actually turned out to be pretty easy to be maintain our friendship. We just kept texting and talking about our boys. Connor’s milestones look different
from Malcolm’s. Connor has to work so much harder to get from milestone to milestone, but he’s doing it. I was afraid Connor’s diagnosis would put awkwardness in my friendship with Becky because I just wouldn’t understand how different it is to parent a child with special needs. When the boys play together (as much as they do as young toddlers) it’s clear that Becky and I have a lot more in common as moms of toddlers than there are differences in parenting a special needs child and a typical child. The fact that Connor has special needs actually didn’t alter our friendship all that much. Perhaps that’s because Becky and Chris love Connor so completely and have managed to accept that TSC is a part of their lives now. They haven’t let TSC cast a shadow on their lives or rob them of the joy of parenting. They have made it easy to ask questions about TSC and what it means for Connor.
As the months went by, I started to realize the idea of the parallel universe where families with special needs children live wasn’t really accurate. We buy the same diapers, and clothes for our kids.
We live with the same healthcare system. Instead of thinking of families with special needs children living off and away somewhere doing mysterious special needs things they don’t want people like me bugging them about, they’re actually at the same Target store I go to. We live in the same world but unless you know someone whose child is ill, you can keep going along in your own circles and never hear the stories of these families and their precious children.
In Georgia, we recently had an opportunity to legalize medical marijuana for children with seizure disorders. Our state representatives failed miserably to pass the very popular bill. This experience made it clear to me the importance of raising awareness of TSC and the reality faced by families with special needs children. Just because a policy, or law or healthcare plan works for you or at least doesn’t hinder you doesn’t mean that you don’t have a voice in improving the lives of our most vulnerable children. Those of us who are blessed with healthy children owe it to our friends, relatives and the people in our communities who are raising special needs kids to keep investing in those relationships even when, and especially when, a child is diagnosed with an illness or syndrome. We can make our healthcare system work better and our government more responsive. But first, we all have to be aware.
Second Annual “Blogging for TSC Awareness Month” Day 28
by guest blogger Krystal Meier (Rochester, New York)
My story begins in 2005. I was 20 years old and I had just started dating my husband. We had talked about it and I knew he had TSC when we started dating. I was aware that he had seizures daily and that he had a kidney removed at age 20. That was all I knew of TSC and I accepted all of it. Then I got pregnant. We didn’t know at the time that there was a 50/50 chance the baby would have it. I was not the most careful and I didn’t go to the doctor the first time until I was 16 weeks pregnant. We asked the midwife if she knew anything about TSC and the risk to the baby and she thought it could be like other genetic disorders where both parents needed the gene in order to pass it on. We scheduled our first ultrasound and left that day feeling pretty happy about things. At that ultrasound we were excited to see what we were having and had no idea what was to come that day and what would follow. The technician did the ultrasound and told us it was a girl, which was very exciting for me, but then she promptly left the room. I was scared and had no clue what to think about what was happening to me and my baby. The doctor came in and went over all the pictures again and saw a giant tumor on the baby’s heart. He sent us from there to another hospital and genetics. On this day that I was so excited for I was told something heart breaking — and that was not even the start of it. We sat at a giant table surrounded by doctors as they told me all kinds of information that I cannot remember. All I wanted to do was cry. My baby was diagnosed with TSC and I was in and out of the hospital for tests weekly. There was a 10% chance the baby would survive and I took that chance and kept the baby. We did all the appointments, and in the meanwhile, I was working. I had no idea what was to come and how much this would change my life forever. The weekend of September 11th in 2005 I was at a festival and felt like I couldn’t breath. I was getting no air in my lungs and could not take a deep breath. I called the doctor who told me to come right in and they would take a look. Everything from that point on is a blur in my mind and just small pictures but I can tell you what happened from others’ accounts. I was admitted and put on oxygen immediately. I was dying of heart failure as was the baby growing inside my stomach. My lungs were drowning in fluids and I had preeclampsia. I lost the baby and almost lost my life at that point. I had what was called a peripartum cardiomyopathy cause by mirror syndrome. One would think that I would have given up on having a baby with my husband at that point. Not me. I wanted a baby and I wanted it with my husband.
In 2007 I got pregnant again. The doctors followed me for my entire pregnancy and at my first ultrasound all looked well. They told me I should come back in a month and check to make sure all was still well. I was happy that all look good, but when a month came around I had to fight to get that ultrasound. I eventually was able to get it at 20 weeks and it was then my heart broke all over again. This baby, another girl, had tumors in her heart. I was filled with the anxiety that she would not make it. I was afraid to plan for anything too far out, but I also felt that I had to enjoy the pregnancy. I worked throughout my pregnancy and they planned to induce at 39 weeks. I was excited to meet my baby at that point but still slightly scared of what was to come. They induced me on a Tuesday and I was sent home on Wednesday because the baby just wouldn’t come. On Thursday I went in for an ultrasound and the baby hadn’t grown in two weeks so it was back to the hospital for induction again. Once again the baby was not coming and they wanted to check on her again. The baby was breech and I was sent for an emergency C-section. Fiona was born at 2:42 on January 18th. I was so happy but didn’t get a chance to hold her before she was swept away to the NICU. I went to the NICU after I was finally able to move my body. She was in the NICU for four days to wait for a duct in her heart to close and to see if her heart could function after it did. All went well and I was sent home after four days. Our lives were good, and aside from some appointments to check on her, our lives were pretty normal until she was seven months old. Early September in 2008 I started to notice her having infantile spasms and knew what to look for because we had her in to see a neurologist since birth. I wasn’t completely sure but I was guessing that was what it was, but I ignored it at first. I let it go until others saw it also. She was admitted to the hospital on September 11, 2008 and was kept for six days to monitor and get meds adjusted. By December 1, 2008 she was seizure free and stayed that way until October 1, 2010. That day was one of the most terrifying days of my life. She was sick and had gone down for a nap. She awoke and was just staring at the ceiling. I went to her and tried to move her head but it was locked into place. She was just staring ahead and could not move. This went on for 15 minutes and then she seemed tired but well. We rushed her to the hospital and on the way it started again. She was again unable to move, only this time she was vomiting all the while. She was still in a seizure when we arrived in the emergency room. They gave her a medicine that stopped it immediately and they ran all kinds of tests but there was no cause for the fever that she had earlier in the day that caused this seizure. Once again, after this episode, all was well. This calm period went on for about a year then she started having a new type of seizure. She would wake up and scream and rock and all sorts of other things. At first I thought it was a night terror until she started to have them during the day. She would be up 10-20 times a night and have 3-7 during the day. I called the doctor and he wouldn’t see her or even talk to me; he just sent me a message to increase her meds and add new ones. She was suffering this entire time. I reached out but everyone said it was just night terrors or a febrile seizure. I felt alone and I was getting no sleep. I was afraid of what was happening to Fiona and her behavior was awful. Finally I decided to take her to her primary care doctor and he got the neurologist on the phone. We set up long term monitoring for Fiona and she went in two days after her birthday in 2012. We were in the hospital for four days that time. It took four days to have a seizure during the day that didn’t follow a nap. It was a long and hard process but her meds were once again adjusted and it worked. Since then she wakes up once in a while with a scream. She has started to have episodes at school where her eyes go back and forth quickly and she sees things. These have only happened at school so I have never seen it myself. Every once in a while I will catch her eyes with a look that says maybe she might be having a seizure but it never amounts to anything and more recently she has complained about feeling funny. I hope nothing comes of these things and she remains seizure free.
During this time I also had another baby girl. Bonnie is 3 and so far has no signs of TSC though she has yet to have any genetic tests done. When she is much older they may do an MRI to check to see if she has an signs in her brain but for now she is health and happy.
Second Annual “Blogging for TSC Awareness Month” Day 26
by guest blogger Samantha Wiemuth
Zander was born June 25th, 2004. He was 8 lbs 13 1/2 oz and 20 inches long. He seemed healthy and happy. We were so excited he was finally here since he made us wait an extra 10 days to arrive! In the first week of being home, he was down to 8 lbs., and we had to feed him through a syringe and a dropper until he was strong enough to suck on his own. Within the next few days, Zander gained all his weight back and he was healthy again. A few months later, Zander started dropping his head into his arms when he was in his johnny jump up. My sister and closest friend KNEW he was having seizures and told me to make a doctor appointment, I thought he was just playing, but we took him to the doctor just to be sure. On November 30th, we met with a neurologist. We told him about Zanders episodes and that my husband Jamison had a disorder called Tuberous Sclerosis. We were worried Zander could have this too. The doctor told us to come back in the morning for more tests and a sleep study.
That next day was one of the worst days of our lives. Zander was diagnosed with Tuberous Sclerosis and infantile spasms. My world came crashing down, but I believe that the baby you have is the baby you are DESTINED to have. Zander was meant to be my child, and I was meant to be his mom. Over the next few days, we learned Zander had been born with Tuberous Sclerosis. He had tumors on his brain and heart, lesions on his eyes and kidneys, angiofibromas on his face and ash leaf spots on his body. This rare disorder happens in only 1 of 6,000 live births. I was devastated thinking I did this to my baby!
The medicine we needed to treat Zander was NOT FDA-approved in the United States yet, so we had to order it from Canada. As Zander grew, so did his seizures. They became harder to control and more aggressive. The damage from the infantile spasms and seizures caused delays in Zander’s development. Despite all of this, Zander had this amazing spirit, and we celebrated everything he was able to accomplish. He said his first word at 11 months old. He started walking at 2 1/2, just in time to go trick-or-treating with me, hand-in-hand!!!! He started school at age three, and by this time he was having 5 to 10 seizures each day. He was on three seizure medicines and one emergency medicine. After one especially hard day, I called a friend for support, and she suggested that I take Z to see a chiropractor. She knew of a great lady with a gentle touch, and that I should just give her a try and see what I thought. I had been so worried about taking him to the chiropractor since he was so little but I was desperate and didn’t want him to get worse. I was ready to try anything! Zander started going to the chiropractor three times a week for a whole month of September 2008 straight. At the end of that month, Z had a huge seizure. When I called the doctor they said he was toxic (He was toxic because the adjustments got his body aligned and his blood flowing correctly to the brain). It was too much medicine flowing through his body) and we needed to take him off two medicines all together and reduced the other one by half!!!! It was AMAZING! I couldn’t BELIEVE we were taking him OFF medicines and not adding more!! Zander then was seizure-free from Oct 2008 until June 2010.
In June 2010 my husbands job transferred us from Wisconsin to Texas. I was lucky enough to find the Texas Scottish Rite Hospital right away a few months before we moved here. The TSC clinic has been such a blessing to our family. We had to find a new chiropractor though, and we were lucky enough to find the perfect one on the second attempt. After we found Dr. Eric Alvarado in Arlington, Z started to be seizure free again about January 2011!!! He has only had about 15 seizures in the last 4 years. He is only having them when he is overheated or when we travel more than ten hours straight. As he continues to grow, we are reminded every day what a strong and amazing young man he is and what a blessing he has been in our lives. Zander still struggles everyday with controlling his behavior, physical activity and academics.
So, when he turned 7 (2011), we decided to submit him to the Make-A-Wish Foundation. We were hoping for some relief and to be able to do something fun! Zander was so excited he picked out two wishes just in case they weren’t able to grant the first one! He wished to be a Zookeeper and his second wish was to be paleontologist!!! When his wish granters came over, they made an instant friend when they gave him a huge dinosaur and cupcakes! They were so great and kind with him. Since Zander had been approved to receive a wish, Make-A-Wish has included Zander in every activity they have for his age group. We stopped by the Fort Worth office and Zander received a huge warm welcome and even more gifts. We went to Brooks Brothers to get fitted for suits for the Make-a-Wish Gala event and he received even more gifts and treats. They were all so sweet and accommodating to our family. Zander has truly been treated like a king and I’m so overwhelmed with gratitude for everyone at the North Texas chapter of the Make-A-Wish Foundation!!! Then May 26th 2012 was Wish Day!!!! They Took
him on an AMAZING scavenger hunt and then topped the rest of the day off at the Dallas Zoo!!
After his Wish things went back to normal for a while. He was doing well, no seizures, behavior wasn’t too bad, and life was good. Then March 24, 2013 our world was turned upside down. My mother passed away unexpectedly. This was horrible for Z; he was very close to my mom. He stopped sleeping, stopped eating, started have bad behaviors. I did everything I could think of to help him: therapy, let him sleep with me with out arguing, went to two hospitals. Then we got him on new behavior medicine which ended up with him being suicidal. It was the worst year ever. Finally we got him off those medicines and into more therapy and with some healing he is doing better. His seizures are controlled with weekly chiropractic adjustments and seizure meds. I am thankful my son is alive and well today!!
Living in Atlanta, loving travel and watching my son kick tuberous sclerosis complex's butt.